Facebooking

Oh Facebook. I have a love hate relationship with it. I think a lot of us do. After a very extensive talk, my friend and I have decided what we like and don’t like to see on the social media mogul. Some of these may or may not have been influenced by sitting on my porch drinking beer until midnight.

What we like to see:

• Pictures and funny videos of your kids, pictures of travels, your pets doing funny stuff, girls night, baby showers, special events, holidays, sporting events, engagements, weddings.. Basically a crap load of fun, positive stuff! We like to keep up with our friends’ lives. That’s what Fb is for right!?
• We like to hear that you want to chop your ex’s head off, as long as it’s funny. We want to be cheering for you like “Yeah, do it he’s annoying!” But we don’t want to be like “Umm maybe you should talk to a therapist..” Don’t be too creepy friends.

• Funnies. I like to laugh. And at any given time I can be in a grumpy mood or irritated after an hour long fight in traffic, so when I pull up Facebook, I want to laugh and get in a better mood! This includes jokes, funny videos, vines, what your crazy kids said on the way to school.. Stuff like that.
• Feel good quotes and inspiration. I said FEEL GOOD, not sappy!

What we don’t care to see:

• Pictures of your kids! Like ten or twenty or thirty pictures a day of the same outfit and almost the same exact pose doing the same exact thing. We don’t really need to see what they’re wearing every day. Take that to Instagram.
• Those posts that are like “I saved a dog today,” “I was at a restaurant and paid for an officer’s meal,” “I gave a homeless guy my underwear because he didn’t have any.” I mean you get the point. Those posts are craving for a pat on the back simply for being what we’re all supposed to be, decent human beings.
• We don’t need a post every hour telling us of your life problems. No really we don’t. We all have problems. Everyone handles them differently. If you have to post every bad situation that happens to you, you need a therapist, not Facebook.
• 20 pictures every other day of a night out. They’re almost the exact same picture people. At least show off a cute outfit or something! Maybe a cute background?!
• Everyday complainers & negative people. If you don’t like your job, life or situation, get your ass up and do something about it. No one feels sorry for you if you’re just sitting there like a bump on a log crying. Be thankful for what you have and you could possibly be a happy person!
• Thirsty Men and Women. Yuck. We know your kind. And you’re gross.
• Man haters. We get it, men are stupid. Let it go, quit being bitter!
• The Gandhi posts. The posts where someone is trying to be real psychological and smart and you’re confused after the first sentence. These people are bullshitters. They talk too much, too fast and don’t even know what the heck they’re talking about. They’re just fishing for some acceptance. Someone to tell them “Thank you, I needed that today!” Just to feel good about themselves.
• The “I love you so much I shed a tear thinking of you” posts. Gawd barf! The every now and then “I love you” posts are cute, but if you’re having to share your I love you’s on Fb every.single.day. you’re just trying to convince others of this “Love” you claim to have. This includes your kids too.. We get it, you love your kids so much. You’re kind of supposed to.
• Feel good quotes and inspiration. You know, the real sappy ones that make you roll your eyes and want to punch yourself.

So there you go. Of course I’m just one little bitty person with my own opinions. But really, it’s a bummer when you see a bunch of negative stuff all the time. I like to feel good and just be a happy person. It’s easier and more peaceful (high five!) I’m not saying not to have “I hate everyone” days, because those are inevitable, and I have them probably once a week! Ok, maybe like every day. But. It’s just easier getting through those days with a sense of humor. Happy Facebooking!